It was over six months ago when God called me into account. I was struggling with grasping control of my life, yet feeling helplessly out of control, all at the same time. Finally, on the verge of total anxiety failure, I collapsed on the floor and cried out to Him,
“What do you want me to do?! You tasked me with these things. They are on my plate because of you! Now everything is overwhelming me and I can’t keep anything straight. I’m losing control.”
“Good. I never asked you to have control. I never gave you the reigns, Kalene—you took them from me.
Why do you need control? What are you afraid of? That I won’t take care of you? That you’ll be a failure because of me?
Give everything back to me, and you’ll finally be free.“
“I want to, but I don’t know how! Help me!”
“Make me the loudest thing you hear, the realest thing you feel, and the most vivid thing you see.”
Well friends, there you have it. That’s the answer God gave me over three months ago.
Does it surprise you to know that in this world, making God the loudest thing you hear, the realest thing you feel, and the most vivid thing you see is extremely difficult? I bet it doesn’t.
Many of you are probably like me: bombarded with visual images, drowned out by seemingly constant noise, feeling like the butt-end of unthoughtful conversation.
It’s hard to bring God to the forefront of all that stimulation (especially for those of us who are more emotionally, visually, or physically sensitive than others).
So here are some things I’ve learned in my last three months of practice:
- Downplay the noise. Take some time outside to observe God playing out in nature. Read. Activate your God-given creativity by turning off other stimulus. Enjoy the company of the people you enjoy. Don’t forsake meeting with God in the quiet.
- Imagine the seemingly impossible. God is a very visual creator. He desires you to see between the lines. See what’s not there—like the emotions of the people around you; or what it must have been like at the battle of Jericho; or how God might look sitting in the chair next to you (He is there, you know). Explore with your mind. One caution, though: God must always be there—otherwise you’re a boat without a tether, my friend. And unfortunately, the mind likes the dark places.
- Feel with the God filter. It’s amazing how incredibly insightful God can be when it comes to human emotion :). He knows things about the people you’re dealing with, the situations you’re in, and the associative emotions you have, than you could never know on your own. And guess what? If you care to listen to Him, He will share His knowledge with you. You’ll find yourself with more compassion and more insight, than you ever thought you could have.
So there you have it. I’ll be keeping on this journey until I master it (which will probably be never, knowing me). Keep reading along as I learn more and more—and share with me what you learn too.
Stay strong. Talk to you soon.
Kalene